Tax day, a day of selfless glory in which American citizens humbly surrender their hard earned money to their beloved government.  It is through this selfless sacrifice to the federal government that we get such wonderful products like the Operation Iraqi Freedom, borderline socialist programs, enough bureaucracy to make baby Jesus cry, and increased salaries for our selfless congressmen.  Taxation has been the backbone of our country since it's foundations.  In fact, it's a little known truth that the Founding Fathers revolted against the British because they weren't taxed enough!  As Patrick Henry once said, "Give me liberty ridiculously high taxes, or give me death!"

    Despite all the noble sacrifice of the American people, some insidious dark beings don't want to pay taxes!  These shadowy figures with their serpent tongues trick the American people into fighting against the noble sacrifice of taxation.  In this dark hour, who can the American people turn to to make sure that their hard earned dollars go straight into the pocket of congress?  The answer is three letters: I, R, S.

    The heroic IRS fights these greedy creatures who want to keep their money to themselves!  By locking these foul beings up and destroying their lives, the IRS is making life better for all of us.  So go on, mail that tax return form with pride!  For we know that the brave and mighty IRS shall grant you their blessing and bring your money safely to the federal government where it belongs!  So when one of those foul anti-taxation creatures confront you will their twisted ideals, shun them and inform your local IRS branch!  The IRS will soon round up that vile tax evader and put him in prison forever.

God bless America and remember the IRS's motto, "Where there's a will, there's a tax!"  So go on America, give a little extra this year!  It's for the children, after all!